- Is swinging safe?
- How do I get into swinging?
- I want to explore the lifestyle but am not sure how to approach my partner
- Can you give a new couple pointers on what to expect?
In short there is no right answer to any of these questions but I am going to write about our experience and hopefully you can gain some knowledge from it.
Is Swinging Safe?
YES! Safer than many other means of exploring your sexuality! Think about it, you are looking to explore a certain avenue or various ones and you seek out others that are looking to do the same thing. A conversation ensues regarding all the aspects of your desires and before you know it you are on the same page and you are forming a relationship. Maybe you join a lifestyle site such as www.intothelifestyle.com and build multiple relationships and learn from people how their experiences have been. Community social networks are a huge part of the swinging lifestyle today and are unlike the “big box take your chances sites” that are out there. There are thousands of people just like you asking the same questions; talk to them!
How do I get into swinging?
This is a tougher question as it varies from person to person and from experience to experience. Our path started innocently as we partook in threesomes with a few girlfriends when we were in our early 20’s. As we found our confidence and our ability to communicate between us grew (trust me there is always room for improvement on this one) we started to explore other forms of play. A huge stepping stone for us took place when we joined our first swingers club and took part in online flirting and video chatting. This was enormous in helping us prepare for the next big step in actually attending a swingers club. We found a very safe and easy way into the lifestyle by being part of an online community but sadly that site is now defunct so we are members of a great site called Into The Lifestyle. The biggest thing you can do to help you ease into the lifestyle is take things at your pace; there are no expectations in the lifestyle and if you find someone that has them then I suggest moving on to the next potential play scenario. There are cardinal rules in swinging and the most basic and important one is No means No!
I want to explore the lifestyle but am not sure how to approach my partner.
Most if not all couples have had this exact moment and question in their lifestyle journey! Ours came at a Taboo Naughty or Nice show in Vancouver. We walked by a booth for a local lifestyle club and continued exploring the show for about 15 minutes when my wife looked at me and said “anything catch your interest?” I said “a few things, why what has caught yours?” Next thing I knew we were club members and planning our first lifestyle experience back at the club booth we past minutes before. Looking back at that night I am so thankful for having had a partner that was able to approach me and set the stage for the most important relationships we have in our lives today in our new set of friends that we have met through the lifestyle. For us lifestyle has been more than just sexual experiences, we have developed friendships and we can safely say our closest friends are in our lives due to that one open and honest question about anything catching my interest.
How will you approach your significant other? Be honest with your thoughts, feelings and wants and listen to theirs in turn! You might be surprised to hear they too have fantasies and are interested in exploring them. Take things slow, it’s not a race and ALWAYS be in constant communication about what works and doesn’t work; for both of you!
Can you give a new couple pointers on what to expect?
I can tell you that you will find that lifestyle people are the most genuine and real people you will ever meet. With that said though you still need to do your own due diligence and make sure any situation is right for you. We have learned that the most important portion of our journey has been keeping connected and in clear and concise communication. We never assume anything and always talk things through to make sure we are on the same page. As well after any experience we chat about it and what did or didn’t work for us and learn from it without any blame or jealousy, jealousy has no place in the lifestyle. Network before you dive in and get to know people via online communities or meet and greets. Jumping right into play without knowing what to expect can be devastating if you are not ready! And the most important pointer I can give is to make sure your partner knows they are and always will be number one in your life. Use the lifestyle to bring you closer and build your own intimacy. The lifestyle is not for replacing something that is missing, it is for fostering something that is already special.
All the best on your journey!