When I first got into the lifestyle I had no idea what I was doing. My husband and I separated because I wanted more in my life and he couldn’t give it to me. I was surprisingly innocent and had never even heard of the ‘lifestyle’. I now didn’t have a partner to navigate the confusing world of websites and parties. It wasn’t until I met someone at a bar that I finally got to learn what was actually out there. He asked me what I wanted to try. How do you answer that when you have spent the last 10 years being in a marriage where you couldn’t truly be yourself? I had never let myself think about what I truly wanted. Turns out, I was open to everything such as threesomes, foursomes, gang bangs, orgies, bukkakes, and anything else that I have never tried before.
This man took me out and introduced me to people; he gave me advice and taught me the rules of being in the lifestyle. I have no connection with him anymore but I will always be grateful to him for what he did for me. One of the first pieces of advice he gave me was to establish my own rules. As a single mother, I had to keep my home life separate from the lifestyle, and as fellow lifestylers, most of you will understand this. I sat down and really put a lot of thought into it. I wanted to discover this sexual side that I had been hiding all these years, but I didn’t want to jeopardize my kids in the process.
After much thought, I came up with three rules-
- I don’t go out when I have my kids. The arrangement I had with my ex worked out so that I had them full time during the week and one out of every three weekends. This gave me plenty of time to go out and not feel like I was neglecting my kids.
- No one would ever meet my kids. I didn’t want to be one of those parents that had a revolving door of men in their lives. My kids had enough to deal with now that their parents were no longer together.
- No one would ever come to my house. My home was our space and I wasn’t going to let the lifestyle invade my personal space. This was also a safety thing for me. There are some strange people out there and I didn’t want them to know where I lived.
I had many instances where guys would get mad at me if I wouldn’t go out with them when I had my kids or not let them come over to my house. I learned very quickly that people who don’t respect my rules aren’t worth my time. I eventually broke all three of these rules when I met my fiancé. After talking online and on the phone for a few months we finally decided to meet. Our first date was Eden and we instantly had a connection. One week later, I invited him to have dinner with me and my kids and then back to my house for a movie. We have been together ever since. The greatest piece of advice I can give to any newcomers to the lifestyle is to figure out your own rules and stick to them. There are people out there that don’t understand your rules and won’t respect them, but then you meet those people that do and you life will become richer because of them. I have been lucky to meet people that have become part of my life in and out the lifestyle and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world.