Looking back at when we entered the lifestyle I recall being overwhelmed by so many new experiences. I also remember one major thing that confused us completely were all of the various terms used and how so many people gave different meanings to them.

For the newbie entering the world of swingers and the lifestyle you can easily find yourself announcing you are a soft swing couple only to find out that the other couple thinks that soft swing is something all together different. Hopefully after reading this short blog there will be some clarity for you on the terms you will encounter and how to navigate the different meanings attached to them.

Swinger / Lifestyle terms we hear and the various meanings behind them

[pullquote_right]Soft Swing, Full Swing, Poly, Open, BDSM, Cuckold, Hot-Wife, MFM, Voyeurism, FMF, Orgies, S&M, Exhibitionism…[/pullquote_right]
  • Soft Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners but do not have intercourse and is generally limited to swapping orally.
  • Full Swing or Swap – when couples exchange partners including intercourse.
  • Lifestyle – a term which has evolved from simply being a swinger. and refers to being sexually open minded and does not preclude a person to multiple partner play.
  • Same Room – when a couple plays or swaps it is within the same room as their partner.
  • Separate Room – swapping and playing in a different room than your partner.
  • On-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that has on-site facilities for play.
  • Off-Site Club or Party – A lifestyle venue that does not have play facilities on-site.
  • Voyeurism – The act of watching others have sex.
  • Exhibitionism – The act of having sex in front of others.
  • Newbies – People who are new to the lifestyle.
  • Meet & Greet – generally held at a regular venue with the intention of a group of lifestyle couples meeting to gauge interest in a no pressure atmosphere.
  • Hall Pass – one part of the couple has been given permission to play alone without the other partner – take heed of this and always verify with the other half of the said couple.
  • MFM – Male / Female / Male 3-some.
  • FMF – Female / Male / Female 3-some.
  • BDSM -a form of personal relationship centering around activities that are erotic but may not be sexual, and which may include the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role play.
  • BBW – Big Beautiful Woman.
  • Dogging – When people meet in parking lots at a given time, and have sex in their cars. Some people swap partners, some singles looking for couples or other singles, and some people are more exhibitionist and just want other people to watch them.
  • Vanilla – Non Lifestyle people / activities.
  • Choco or Chocolate – Lifestyle people / activities.
  • Unicorn – A single female in the lifestyle.

Well there you have it, this is by no means a complete list of terms you will come across but it is a pretty good list of the ones you will hear more often than not. Please feel free to comment or suggest new ones to add to the list as you think of them!

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  1. Florida Swingers

    July 5, 2012 at 10:53 am

    wonderful post. Its really informative and will help me lot. Thanks for posting 🙂


  2. Mike

    February 28, 2016 at 7:08 am

    Haha thank you, me and my wife wanted to try swinging and were so confused about a lot of the terms. (doesn’t help that we see a lot of abriviations) and this has cleared up a lot of it.


    • Sensual Admin

      February 28, 2016 at 7:28 am

      Glad we could help!


  3. Swingers code words and signsSurvive Your Partner's Affair

    April 25, 2016 at 9:12 am

    […] out those deemed ‘undesirable’. The swingers will swing (or as they call it, ‘play‘), but only with a limited few. It amounts to sharing your toys with ‘special’ […]


    • Sensual Admin

      April 29, 2016 at 4:13 am

      Interesting take, not sure we can agree with your article though


  4. […] There are many different forms of “swinging” and is based entirely upon the couple’s level of comfort. Some couples jump straight into what is referred to as “full swap” while others linger in simple exhibitionism for years before moving on to the next level. Here are the common terms and its definition coined by those in the lifestyle (borrowed from sensualinterest.com): […]


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