Tara Caffelle coaching

Vancouver relationship coach

I want you to take a moment – okay, take 2 – and think of the best, most satisfying, light-a-cigarette-after sex you have ever had.

Uh-huh. I think I know what you’re thinking. Is it gritty, and slippery and raw? Or soft, and tender and a sweet answer to every question you’ve ever wondered the answer to? Is it loud? Messy? Vulnerable? Naked? Or just naked enough to expose the important parts? What did it smell like? Sweat, and power, and surrender? Does everyone finish in a satisfied climax worthy of some primal noise?

Yes. All that.

And conversation can be the same way.

Think about it: what if we showed up in conversation the way we show up in sex? What if we charged in, with passion and vulnerability and a small amount of caution, into conversations we were nervous to have? What if it was okay to be messy and open and slippery and deliciously present, knowing we have the skill (and maybe a towel?) to clean it up when everyone is spent and catching their breath? What if we didn’t care how we looked and spoke solely in service of connecting in a more raw and honest way and everyone got to grind and push and come out satisfied?

I know. It’s a bit hot to even think about, isn’t it?

Here’s the invitation: whatever you have to speak about, make it sexy. Hell, have a conversation about what a sexy conversation would look like for you and your partner. No protection needed, just your naked abandon. Enjoy.

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  1. Darren

    December 11, 2014 at 1:38 am

    Love this and couldn’t agree more!!!! We’re trying to help people talk more openly at Pillow – hope you like it 🙂



    August 27, 2015 at 7:09 am

    Loved reading this post!


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